No Regrets
by Room 312
Summary: [Quistis&Squall AU ONE-SHOT] They made a deal for it to last one night, no excuses and no regrets, not beyond that. But when feelings are surfaced what will happen? Will they stay true to their word or break it?


Well, here it is, my first Squall&Quistis _(even though I've grown fond of Rinoa)_ AU **one-shot** fiction as well as my first ever _FFVIII_ fiction to exist.  
  
After this fic, I'll try not to put out anymore fictions until then _(seeing that I can't help but write when I get a new idea. You feel me?)_ I guess I'll try though. So as for that, I hope you enjoy this fiction as much I enjoyed writing it.  
  
_Well, go on...._

No Regrets

(A Quistis & Squall fiction)

  
_"Here the river runs,  
A shallow bed of stones,  
With no flow but the innocence that once was,  
And no trials but the anticipated end."_

- - -

She could no longer stand in the hall full of people, the celebrations as well as all of the music was suffocating her. It was as if all of their happiness and laughter seemed to mock her. So she left quietly to a secluded place... the balcony... unnoticed by none.  
  
As soon as the breeze of summer warmth hit her, Quistis Trepe let some of the numbness escape from her body, getting lost in the summer breeze. Her blue eyes searched the landscape around her. From the balcony, the endless grassy plains of Balamb seemed a silver color from the moonlight, and the gentle summer breeze made the grass slowly ripple, creating an angelic affect. It was then when Quistis felt a little pang of sorrow fill her chest, it was times like these when she wished that she wouldn't feel this way. It was times like these, that she wished everything was back to normal.  
  
It was around the fifth 'couples only' dance after he had proposed to her that Quistis decided to leave. Seeing that she didn't have a person to dance with, and so as she watched, she would let the dark red wine sink in deeper and deeper into the depths of her stomach. As they would say, she was a glass of wine richer. Despite this, she truly was more overjoyed for them than anything. After all, it was hard not to feel anything else but happiness as she saw her, in her delicate yet beautiful form, looking so precious in her gown, she glowed as if surrounded by an aura. Quistis always knew that Rinoa was beautiful, but today, as she watched how her in her over joyous mood it made Quistis feel a slight bit... _jealous_.  
  
It was all planned... she just _didn't _know it then.  
  
If she did, however, she wouldn't even have bothered to come. Not at all. Instead, she might've been in an even worse position, probably staying in drinking and crying in her bed.  
_  
"We made a deal, remember?"  
  
"Yeah, just this night..."  
  
"No excuses."  
  
"And no regrets..." _  
  
What made it even worse was knowing that she was definitely going to be alone. Sadly, she could never expect him to come back to her tonight. It was over, and while everyone else was going home with the person with the person they loved, she was going home by herself. She wasn't even left with one little glimpse of hope.  
  
The music was pumping loudly, and she could still hear Rinoa's laughter over all the other's. _  
  
_Quistis turned her eyes from the lower lands to the night sky, looking upon the stars as if could lead her to the right path, the truth. Though to no avail, it seemed that the stars, that usually comforted Quistis, had abandoned her tonight. Out of all times, they chose to leave her behind in her despair. So all was hopeless, at least for now.  
  
The moon was getting darker and the clouds were moving faster, it was soon going to rain. Hard. Quistis could tell. Well, at least she didn't need to worry about anyone noticing that she wasn't inside having fun, not that she thought they would even notice.  
  
Sighing, she eased her way from the balcony, before slowly checking to see if anyone was on the long halls of the second floor before proceeding.  
  
She had made a plan to go to her room, and do nothing but sulk, after all that was all she could do. Her feet made a loud clapping noise on the fancy marble floors as she kept walking, making a vibrating echo through the empty hall. This is where she preferred to be, away from all the laughter and rejoice. It was all like this for her after everything with Ultiemicia. It was nothing, but horrible for the young instructor.  
  
Her heart felt just as _empty_ as these halls.  
  
Slowly, she sat herself down against the wall, on the smooth marble floored surface. She could still hear the music, which seemed to be nice, slow, and inviting. Couples or not. Quistis could already picture it, his arms around her small waist, her arms around his neck, dancing slowly to the music, looking into each other's eyes. It was a horrible thought to her, it seemed she didn't belong to him, but yet, she thought that after their night there would be a slight chance he would change his mind about her... maybe feel so _much_ closer to him as ever.  
  
Quistis buried her head in her hands, her knees against her stomach. She felt so much like a child right now.  
  
"Quistis?" A deep, slightly breathy voice called out through the empty halls. She could hear the sound of footsteps coming closer and closer down the hall. "Quistis?" The voice called out again. She knew that voice all to well. The steps were coming closer now, only a few more and ...  
  
He stopped, looking down at her form against the wall. "Quistis ..." He whispered, reaching over to her.  
  
Quistis made no effort to acknowledge this man, instead she pretended as if he weren't even there calling out to her, while she stood in the same position, her head in her hands, sitting helplessly on the Garden floors.  
  
Squall, not sure if she heard his voice, moved closer to the young instructor, before sitting down beside her. "Hey, Quistis," He whispered to her, putting his hand on her shoulder. "what's the matter?" He patiently questioned, trying to get her to say something anything at all. Instead he got what he dreaded, silence.  
  
He carefully took hold of one of her petite hands just so he could at least get a small glimpse of her face, thinking that maybe he would have to force her to make her lose her grip, but he was wrong. She willingly removed her hands away from her face, and what he saw made him feel a strong wave of guilt fill his chest. In her eyes there was no joy or no contempt to see him, instead they seemed ice cold, just two deep blue lifeless orbs stared back at him. As well, her facial expression was as frozen as her eyes.  
  
"Quistis, tell me what's wrong ..." His grip on her hands were tight, as if they were the most precious things in his words. His voice, it was a demand, not a question anymore. He was losing his patience.  
  
Quistis tried to remove her hands from his grip, but to _no_ avail. He was too strong, while she was emotionally and physically drained of her energy.  
  
"Get off of me, and go back to your party. I'm sure your fiancé is waiting for you." Her voice held that of sarcasm as well as a deep hurt, a hatred. He gave her his coldest glare.  
  
"Oh, I see now..."  
  
"Do you r_eally_ Squall?"  
  
"Yes I do, your jealous, just like you always are when it comes to me and Rinoa." He spat, his voice full of venom. His grip was still on her wrists.  
  
"I do not care about you and Rinoa. It is none of my business to what you choose to do with her, okay? Now get the hell off of me!" She was trying hard not to let the tears fall, she was trying exceptionally hard to be strong, like him, to mask her emotions, her feelings for him.  
  
He finally let go of her, standing up slowly, turning her back to her. "I don't have time for this right now Quistis. You should know that. I know you do."  
  
She rubbed her wrist, trying not to think back again to that day. Their first time together...  
_  
"We made a deal, remember?" He looked down at her while he put on his black jacket.  
  
"Yeah, just this night..." She mumbled, avoiding his gaze.  
  
"No excuses." He continued.  
  
"And no regrets..." She finished._  
  
She turned to face the other way, closing her eyes tightly. _'No tears,' _She thought. _'Please no tears.' _"Why don't you just leave me alone? Marvel in the company and congratulations of all the other's downstairs?" She whispered more to herself then to him.  
  
"Pathetic, your acting so weak." She heard him say. And from the corner of her eye, she could see him shaking his head in disappointment, just like he did so many times. "You knew the deal, you knew that it would have to be like this..."  
  
"Yeah, better to have felt what it would be like just once then never..."  
  
He turned around to face her, rage burning in his deep blue orbs. "But yet, you demand more? We went over this Quistis, one night, no excuses, no regrets. That's it. You had your one night, alright, this is the way it is. Life is a cruel thing, if I'd known this, I'd never have done this with you."  
  
His words vibrated through the hall, and in her mind over and over again. She could hear the music from downstairs, the laughter, the rejoice, the talking, even the very loud gossiping, as well as the congratulations. While here she was, having a miserable time listening to him, the commander and leader of Balamb Garden. As well as her ex-lover. How much more could she take? Was the world out to get her, make her life miserable? Did anyone even care about her well being? Or was it that she had a sign on her head that said "hurt me"?  
  
"Screw you Squall Leonhart." She finally spoke, as she slowly stood up to reach his height. "You don't know anything, not one thing about me. You never knew what I went though to get your attention."  
  
He only looked at her.  
  
"It's funny you know, how every time you build me up - you know just make me happy - then you always, _always_ let me down. I almost thought that one of these days you would feel the same way about me." She went on, determination in her weak voice. "But one day when I'm finally happy, and your miserable your going to be cold, lonely or maybe even running back from the cruel world that we live in. One of these days, you'll see Squall, you'll see."  
  
She turned to walk ahead of him, to leave him behind in the empty hall, where he could think about what he was doing to her, but before she could go any further, she felt him put a strong grip on her arm. "So now your done?" He glared.  
  
"I have nothing _more_ to say." She glared back.  
  
He quickly pulled her to him, in a rough yet gentle manner, his eyes was on hers intensely. She looked up at him as well, a confused expression on her beautiful face, and before she could say anything else she felt his lips connected against hers. Her eyes were wide open, at first, until the kiss turned from hesitant to very serious, very intense like his gaze. She could nearly feel the friction build up between both her body and his. He slowly, then quickly inhaled sharply, as his fingers were soon making lazy circles up and down her back, sending a large wave of pleasure over her.  
  
She thought of pulling away, she thought of being the stronger out of the two, she thought of telling him how much she didn't need him, but she knew that she would only be lying to herself and him. In addition, she had waited so long for this moment to come again, she couldn't, wouldn't let it end just yet. As his mouth pressed against her lips, he remembered them just the same, soft, rich, full. Just as they felt their first time. Her hot breath, let out against his cheek, and he held onto her more tightly, more securely.  
  
He pulled her body closer to his, while he leaned on the wall, their bodies had not one even a little bit of space between them, it was as if they were molded together, as if they were one, and he finally stopped the lazy circles around her back, instead tracing her spine through the thin material of her ivory silk gown. He was holding on so tightly that he could even feel her breast against his chest, and if it were anymore possible, he tightened his grip around her.  
  
Her body shivered, she could hear her heartbeat pump faster and faster through her ears, and she intensified the kiss, parting her lips slowly, granting him access. She ran her fingers through his chestnut-brown silky mane, not being able to help herself.  
  
They both gave in, no longer caring about their heated argument, no longer caring about any other person or thing in the world. All that was there was them, and that was all that mattered. They were both lost in their victories, they were both lost in savoring each other.  
  
Squall was n_o_ longer in control of his body.  
  
That was really the only explanation, his mind, his heart, they took over. His mouth was on fire, his stomach was bubbling, his mind was numb, this feeling was ... electrifying. His heart felt as if it would pump out of his chest - no, _rip_ out of his chest - making such a loud noisy rhythm just as the rain did against the Garden roof.  
  
_'This is Squall, the man that is engaged to Rinoa, the man who could be nothing more than a friend, you can't do this Quistis...'_ Her mind was telling her, but for once, she didn't want to listen to her own thoughts, her conscience. She wanted to give in, just like she did the first time.  
  
Her cold, and scarred heart was no longer. Instead it was on fire, dancing, wounds healed. She wanted more, demanded more, she didn't want to stop, she didn't need the oxygen. She wanted to stay like this, forever. Squall felt like he could go through a coma of ecstasy, as if in a bright light, this women pressed against him was making him lost to all of the world around him, and for once he didn't care, he didn't even dare worry. This was Quistis, _his_ Quistis.  
  
After what seemed like hours, days, even years, they spilt apart. They were both breathing heavily, while Squall had his eyes intense on her face, Quistis had hers lowered to the ground. They were both messy. Her lips were a dark pink, as well as swollen, and her cheeks were flushed.  
  
"_Why?_" she broke the silence, after catching her breath.  
  
Squall gave her a bewildered look, as he tried to find out the answer to the question himself, he racked his brain, but it wasn't giving him any answers. "I... I don't know."  
  
She didn't say nothing more, as she felt a little awkward, and very guilty. _'Quistis Trepe!' _Her mind screamed. _'What kind of friend are you kissing your Rinoa's fiancé!? Shame on you!'_  
  
Somewhere in her brain she wondered where this left them now; but in her body, she didn't think about anything else, except she knew that she wanted to do this again and again, never ever stopping. She wanted to do that and_ so_ much more. Just the two of them, just _once_ more...  
  
She buried her face in the crook of his neck, as she absently and gently let her small fingers trace the outline of his jaw, a small smile on her face. He grabbed her arm gently, and held it there, and as she finally lifted her head to look into his eyes, she couldn't stop herself from saying, "What's wrong?"  
  
"We can't do this again." He answered.  
  
She didn't say anything, she only looked at him through cerulean eyes. Then she did a bold thing. She slowly reached up to him on her tip toes, and brushed her swollen lips over his, and just as she was about to claim his lips, he stopped her.  
  
"You know if we do this, it just ..." His eyes were focused on her angelic face. " ... it _won't_ be enough."  
  
"I know, Squall, I _know_." She let out in a raspy voice, as she once again very slowly put her lips against his for the third time that night ...

  
**- - -**

Squall groaned when the sound of the alarm clock came on, piercing through his ear drum deafeningly. He, lazily, turned over, his head once again on a soft pillow. He was just about to pass out into a world of a pleasant darkness, that is, until he felt a warm body stir under the sheets. At this, he quickly sat up in the bed, removing the covers slowly until he caught a glimpse of a naked chest, quickly he once again covered his sleeping partner up again in the sheets, confusion running through him.  
  
This wasn't Rinoa, it was Quistis. In a _bed,_ _naked_ with _him_. That wasn't such a good sign.  
  
He felt a headache coming on as he kept on thinking about it. So he lay down in the bed, his blue eyes studying his surroundings. It was a white colored room, a room he had been in once before, and the room he was only supposed to be in just that once. _'We made a deal, not to feel. No lies, no excuses, just this one night.' _It was Quistis' bed, but weren't they in the second floor hall yesterday? He didn't even remember coming here. Beep, beep, beep, that dreaded sound was getting on his nerves, and before long, he quickly pressed the button on the alarm to shut the damned thing off. He look at the time ... it was only 5:30 in the morning. Who in the _hell _got up at that time?  
  
His eyes once again traveled to the woman beside him on the bed. She was curled up in a ball, looking like such a small child. Her lips were just slightly swollen, and her cheeks were her regular pale crème color. Her hair was no longer in it's usual style, but now let loose, cascading all around the pillow that he head rested on, and as the sun shone over her hair, it looked like a sparkling gold. And as she suddenly stirred, Squall took his eyes off her, not wanting to be caught in his act.  
  
Yet, she hadn't woken up. Her eyes were still closed, and she unconsciously moved her body closer to his, her golden hair falling upon his chest, slightly near his neck, her face was laid a little atop of his naval, as well as her petite arms next to her face, a smile of peace resting on her lips.  
  
He only looked up at the ceiling of the room. Lost in his thoughts. Why had he broke his word? It was only supposed to be a one night thing. He shook his head, he must've been really drunk yesterday. Yes, that was the explanation. He only wondered what Rinoa was thinking about his _whereabouts_ this morning.  
  
Squall quickly sniffed the morning air, but instead, he was greeted with the smell of white plums with a mixture of his natural, manly scent, a scent that he could never exactly pin point. It was like it send an emotional wave over him, oddly, as his stomach was doing flips and spins.  
  
She stirred once again, but this time, she was awake. Her eyes fluttered open like butterfly wings before she quickly stood up, suddenly panicked, and looked around her surroundings, just as Squall had done earlier. And as soon as she caught sight of him, her face turned three shades of red, and her eyes held a look of panic. The realization and the embarrassment. Though, apparently Squall thought it was a funny look on her face, she no longer looked like a woman, but like a _delicate _child, caught in an act. Squall thought this was a whole new look for her.  
  
"What?" She murmured, trying to appear like her normal self, but failed, miserably. They were so close, their naked bodies that is, he was touching her, and she hadn't yet got used to this, even though it was her second time with him. "What?" - she repeated - "Why are you starring at me like that?" _'Quistis Trepe, you sound like such a child...' _She thought to herself, head still down.  
  
"No reason, it's just that you look really cute when you blush like that," Squall answered, humor in his voice.  
  
Quistis, forgetting in what position she was in, gave him a small scowl. "Shut up." She told him in a playful voice.  
  
Squall only chuckled before, standing up from the bed. Quistis smiled, to her, this was a whole new side to him... and she _liked _it.  
  
"So," Squall began, as he started to put on his clothes. "Why is the alarm set so early?"  
  
Quistis shrugged, before lowering her head. Was he already leaving her? Was the magic of last night already over? She bet that he was going to say his favorite sentence: "We made a deal, remember? Just this night, no excuses and no lies."  
  
She already, more than anything, wanted nothing more to grab onto him and tell him not to go like he did last time, not to leave her. She didn't want to weep, she didn't want to ruin the mood that he was in. She didn't want to hear that sentence. All she wanted, was him, she wanted him for her and herself only. But she knew that she wasn't going to get that, she knew, because he already belonged to somebody, Rinoa Heartilly, that someone else. Not her, not Quistis Trepe.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
Quistis quickly looked up, her train of thought broken by his voice.  
  
She nodded. "Yeah, I guess. Why?"  
  
"For a minute there you looked sad." He quickly said. "What's on your mind?"  
  
_'Oh, nothing really Squall Leonhart, besides the fact that your leaving... again.'_  
  
"Just a little disappointed. You know, are you leaving already?" She questioned in a weak voice.  
  
Squall gave her a surprised look. "Quistis, we went over this. Your lucky that we even did this again. I'm engaged to Rinoa, this time it was only a mistake." He wanted to take his words back as soon as he let them out as soon as he saw the look of hurt cross over her face. "Listen, I really am sorry that this ever even happened."  
  
Quistis stood up, grabbing the light covers with her, as she stood up face to face with the man who caused her so much pleasure and so much pain. She put her hand over his shoulder. "Stay." she voiced. "I know that you want to. So do it. _Don't_ be afraid."  
  
"What do I have to be afraid of Quistis?" He questioned, as he looked at her deeply, as if she had lost her mind.  
  
"_Us._ Your afraid of _us _being together. That's what. Your trying to deny you feel anything for me, other than me and you being a mistake." She countered, totally serious. Their faces were only a couple of inches apart.  
  
"We made a deal-"  
  
"No," Quistis cut him off. "This time we made _no_ deal. This time we just went on with it, you know giving in to your feelings."  
  
Squall turned away from her, clearly pissed. He grabbed his boots from the floor, along with his socks. "I really don't need this Quistis. Plus, I'm not even afraid of being with you, I just don't want to. Okay? There you happy?" He sounded tired, exhausted.  
  
She sat on her bed, eyes closed, this was how it was yesterday, in the hall when they first fought. It seemed that they could never get along, no, only if their lips were connected and they were sleeping in the same bed.  
  
After a couple of moments of silence, Quistis opened her mouth once again. "Then, tell me, if you don't want to be with me, why do you _sleep_ with me? Why, if you love Rinoa so much, weren't you in her bed yesterday night instead of mine? I know you feel something for me Leonhart, I know." She was mad, she only called him Leonhart when she was on the verge of breaking something, just plain exploding. Just crying. "You know what you are? Your a liar and your a punk. A liar cause you can't tell the truth. Punk cause you can't take the truth."  
  
Squall stood quiet. Not being able to explain himself, or was it that he was finally speechless?  
  
Quistis, seeing that he wasn't saying anything anytime soon, continued. "You know I'm right. Your at a loss for words Squall, but if you want to leave just go. Do whatever you want to do because I'm sick of fighting with you, just sick of everything. So do whatever the hell you want. I don't want you to stay on your benefit."  
  
Her angry words were the exact opposite of what she was truly feeling in her heart. He was just Squall. _Cold_. Just Squall. _Too much out of reach_. Just Squall. _Taken by another_. He was just Squall. _With his magic hands_. Her eyes were tearing, she wouldn't watch him when he left. She would make sure of it. Probably yesterday night meant nothing to him, just like the first night didn't, but she would make sure that as soon as he walked out of that door, she would do something, _anything_, to make herself get over him.  
  
_Hurtful_. It was just hurtful. It was just a true feeling of love and a complete feeling of abandon. It started in her stomach, all the way down to the tips of her toes. She loved him, but he didn't love her back.  
  
"I should hurry, before anyone sees me." Squall spoke, as he finally was starting to put on his shirt.  
  
"Yeah, you wouldn't want Rinoa to know now would you?"  
  
"No," Squall decided to play along in her game. "I wouldn't."  
  
This remark hurt her, like shards of glass ripping into each part of her body. Stabbing her over and over again. All was quiet.  
  
He stood up. "So, I guess this is it, huh?"  
  
"I guess." Quistis absently whispered.  
  
He leaned down, and before anybody could say anything or stop it, he kissed her. He pulled her close, just as he did yesterday night, in the empty hall. He knew the sexual tension was still there, very much there. And right then and there, she knew he loved her. He made his decision. Only, this time, her arms fell to his chest, and pushed him away from her, a large smirk was on her lips as she was just about to use his favorite sentence.  
  
"We made a deal, remember? Just _one_ night..."  
  
"Yeah, no regrets..." He smiled down at her, a true genuine smile.  
  
He just stood there, wondering what she would say. She didn't say anything. Her answer was to respond, full force, to his kiss by planting one of her own on his lips. His shoes and socks clamored to the floor. They both fell back against the bed, knowing that no matter what, nothing would be the same.  
  
He _never_ left her room ...

- - -

So, did anyone like? This is my first ever _FFVIII_ one-shot and fiction, but I liked it. Rinoa is okay, but I really like Quistis a little better for some reason. Anyways, I hope you enjoy and leave me some reviews.

_  
  
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End file.
